“Mommy, I don’t want to go to school.” I say standing at the end of our neighborhood waiting for the bus. My hand grips hers and my eyes start to tear up. I look around at the other students hanging around in little groups with their friends.
“You have to sweetie.” She says letting go of my hand, “You have to be a big girl now. You’re a middle schooler. It’s time to grow up.”
I see the bus turn down the road and fear wracks my body. She doesn’t understand. She doesn’t understand how mean those kids are to me. As the bus stops in front of me and the doors swing open; I try one last time to escape the hell I’m about to reenter.
“Mommy, please, I’ll do anything. Don’t make me go. Please, mommy.” I grab her hand once more.
She smiles an uneasy smile once the tears start rolling down my face. She looks around at the other moms how they stare, wondering why she can’t control her child. She bends down in her high heels and pencil skirt, putting a hand on my shoulder. She squeezes it tightly and whispers “Get on the bus now. When you get home, young lady, you’ll be punished for your nonsense. You’ve embarrassed me.”
She stands and wipes her hands like I’ve had some terrible disease and nods at me. I turn swiftly on my heel and climb the stairs of the bus. I look around at the sneering kids, all larger than me; they’re the same ones from elementary school. I lower my head and walk to the back of the bus. Multiple feet trip me; the kids giggle as I stumble each time.
There’s only one seat open and it’s next to Jeremy. His too familiar evil grin stretches across his face. Once I sit down next to him, he turns and faces me, “You’ve grown uglier over the summer!” He laughs and all the kids around him laugh with him. Getting a little high off of the attention, he pulls my hair painfully, jerking my head back. He grabs scissors from his book bag.
“Your hair is too long and ugly. Maybe you should cut it.”
My eyes grow wide and I try my hardest to squiggle away from him, but he only holds on tighter.
“What’s going on back there!” the obese driver says glaring at us in the mirror. His black beady eyes stare into mine.
Jeremy pushes my into the dirt covered floor as the bus comes to a stop at the school, “She’s picking on us.”
The kids laugh as they all walk over me, stepping onto my skirt and hands, kicking me. Then I’m all alone on the bus, except for the driver. His eyes bore into mine, “I don’t want any trouble makers, you hear. I won’t tolerate it. This is your one and only warning.”
I nod, grabbing my book bag, and I stumble off the bus. My long hair has untwisted from its braid and the red ribbon that once held it back is now in Jeremy’s hands, taunting me. I walk slowly towards the school, whispers surround me.
Ever since I can remember I’ve been these kids punching bag. I never fight back. I never even say a word to them. The only person I’ve ever talked to was my mother. Even she, though, doesn’t seem enjoy the sound of my voice.
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