Crazy

Eyes are the windows to the soul. You can see their souls. Every day while looking into my teachers eyes I've never saw the evil that resided there. All i saw was a boring old man with glasses and thinning grey hair. As he droned about antigens and antibodies all i could do was take notes and listen to his teaching.
i never knew what he really way, no one knew. Then he changed. As he sat in the back of the class while we took our test, his skin began to bubble. no one saw it. we were all concentrating on their test. His skin bubbled silently as fell to the ground. A black skin replaced it. His face became distorted and his eyes fell out leaving two giant oles in his head. His mouth split wide and went around his whole face showing his too white razor sharp teeth. His back arched till his arms almost touched the ground. His spine became sharp as the sharpest blade and came to the surface of his skin, splitting it apart and oozing green blood. His hands turned to large hooked claws.
That's when someone turned around to ask a question.
That's when all the chaos broke out. Our large private school - from preschool to seniors - turned to a horror house. Everyone in the school died that day except two, the teacher who was never found and me. I heard everyone's screams. No one could escape. He was too fast even to see. No one knew there was trouble until it was too late. People were found with their blood drained, their necks broken. their eyes gouged out, or this hands sliced off. I was left alone. I don't know why, but i was left alone. I didn't know what to do. I called the police with shaking hands once the scream stopped in less than 3 minutes. I ran around looking at the gore, looking for other survivors. I looked at everyone i saw everyday dead and taken apart. I was the only one alive. The police didn't show. Others did. They took me to a hospital. My parents never showed. The school wasnt even on the news. All the parents minds were erased that they ever had children. All evidence was destroyed - including the school and bodies. I didn't know this at that time of course. I was in a hospital hoping that i was truly insane and that all i saw i imagined. Then they told me i had a mental disease that i've always been like this. I've always been in this hospital for seeing illusions and hallucinations. They made me take medicine. I wanted to believe what they said. I wanted to forget those vivid images from my brain.

Rainy Days Make Me Think of Him

The rain makes me think of him. Whenever it rained in those last couple of months I would see him out there, in the boat, watching how the rain makes ripples on the pond's greenish water. His brown hair would sick onto his forehead and dripped onto his long eyelashes. His dark clothes would become even darker.
"You know, " He'd say out loud, "the ripples in the water is like people's actions. If someone does something it affects the people around them just like one small drop of water can effect the stillness of a large pond."
I wouldn't say anything about it; i'd just watch as he'd row back to the dock and go into the house.
I didn't like him going out there; I'd tell him to stay inside - to stay warm. He wouldn't listen to me though, he never really did listen to me. He didn't act like himself those last couple of months; I didn't expect him to, really.
There were small moments when I got him fully back, either when he watched our old home movies or when he fed the ducks like we did every Sunday morning. I would see his face light up, but then only a few seconds later a dark frown would be there again. All the time he was dark, sad, lonely. No matter what i said or did. he'd act like he couldn't hear or see me.
"Someone's actions effect the ones around them."
He'd tell me that one fact, he knew it. If he knew it so well, why did he put a knife to his neck that one rainy day in April. Because simply he thought no one was there around him to effect.
I left him, years before that April day, along with out parents. It was a rainy day that day when the roads were full of puddles. We hit a patch of water too fast... We ended up flipped into a ditch upside down. We drowned that day, leaving him waiting for us at home.
I didn't really leave him though. I came back to him and watched over him the best i could. I watched hi cry over our deaths, I watched him move far away from all his friends to our only relative. I watched him suffer through middle school and some of high school with absolutely no friends. I watched him become so stressed and sick. I watched him curse the name of God and cut his wrists with his eyes full of tears, believing he had no one there for him. He couldn't hear me. He couldn't see me.
So one day i had to watch him row out onto that lake for the last time. I had to watch his eyes fill with tears. I had to watch him grit his teeth to stop himself from screaming out from the hurt he held inside his heart. And i watched him take his own life.
A sixteen year old boy, who felt so alone, suffered so much that he open his own throat to take away the pain he felt on the inside. To make it all end.

The Colors of Fire draft thoughts for later

background: Alora Calantia is heading towards the main city in the 13th Ascendancy. She is with Conway, the Great Hound of the Plains. He is next in line to be throne in the ____ Ascendancy. She is also with ____ a tree creature of Ascendancy. They are being lead into the heart of the crater by two ____ twins of the .....

The heat of the desert is almost too much, but it feels amazing against my skin. I pull my hair into a ponytail to let the sun hit the back of my neck. Conway leads the way before me. Sweat covers the back of his grey shirt. He walks just one stride before the twins who are supposed to lead the way. I give a small chuckle, he always has to feel in charge. 

No one is in the streets. I can feel their eyes watching. i can understand how strange this all must look. Two of the strongest ____ in the sword, but also the 13th Ascendancy's ....., the next throne of the _____ Ascendancy, a human, and the 13th Ascendany's greatest enemy beside the Kendrion - a creature of the Hill. 

I look into the rock structures around me. Then i see it. Their eyes glow in the darkness of their rock caves. All are watching as we walk down the main road towards the middle of the crater. I stop looking at the eyes looking at me and turn to look at the large fire wall surrounding the large crater.

It swirls with different colors and makes elaborate designs high into the air. 

The colors are something i can't even begin to explain. Not only are they colors from our rainbow at home, but colors never seen on Earth. Colors that i didn't think exists, but i didn't think any of this could exist. Not only is the fire shield full of colors, but so is the dirt, rocks, and sand beneath my feet.

This whole planet is full of light and color. It amazes me.

I mean knock on wood!"

I turn around me place two knuckle taps on _____ side. He looks down at the gesture and looks back at me with one eyebrow raised, "Did you just-"

The Mr. part 2

I was in an accident? "Oh," i reach up and touch my head, "Who are you?"
The lady chuckles and brings her warm eyes on mine, "I'm Barbra, but everyone calls me Momma."
"Are you a doctor?"
"Well, yeah. You aren't in a hospital though. You're at the Mr.'s house. He told me to take care of you. He's out at a meeting right now, but I'm sure he'll be here soon."
Another blossom comes through the window, distracting me. She takes the IV from my arm and leaves the room for a brief second.
Once she comes back in the room she sighs and sits down on the side of the bed, placing her hands in her lap, "Since you're awake, could you tell me who you are? Maybe give a number so that I may contact your parents? I'm sure they're worried sick."
I stare at her blankly. Who am I?
"I I-I can't remember." I look at her frantically, "I can't remember. I don't know my name. I don't even know my parent's name. Do i even have parents? Oh."
"Honey-honey, calm down. The memory loss is probably from that hit to the head you took. You don't have to worry. Your family is probably out there looking for you and they'll find us. Either that or we'll find them. The Mr. is a powerful man. He'll find them."
She places her hand on mine, "Everything will be fine."
She stands up and limps towards a door. Soon after i hear the running of water and i see steam coming from the room.
Her head pops out of the door, "Come take a nice relaxing bath. You've been out for a couple days," she pinches her nose, "You need it."
I laugh at the old woman and go towards the bathroom to take the well needed bath. My mind keeps trying to dig into itself, trying to get the information that it lost.

My goals in life

Because my graduated brother left his senior year book at school the previous year, i was asked to bring it home. Being ADD, i couldn't stop looking at it as i was supposed to do my homework. I ended up reading every single page of the seniors long term goals in life. It really made me think...what are mine?

I really think my goals in life is to travel the world, gathering information, learning all that i can about other cultures. I want to take notes about the different people and what their daily lives are. I want to dive into their stories and find out just what made them who they are today. Then i want to take that information and make real characters with real problems. 

Then while I'm traveling the world i want to find beautiful sites, places i've never dreamed existed. I want to take pictures of those places and put them into my setting journal, I want to write how i felt when i was there, what emotions the place brought forth in me. 

I would also want to take pictures of unusual people. People who would have you going, "WOW."

Then i would have characters and settings. I would have real life in a character. I would have beauty in the settings. Then with all the knowledge i've gathered, I would want to write a book.

Not only do i want to write a book, but i would also want to take amazing photography of people and the world. I love making scenes and finding ways to make a shoot memorable and fun. 

I also would like to find the man of my dream, of course.

I would want to help people as much as I can and bring Gospel to those who haven't heard it. I would want to be remembered for saving someone's life one day.

Dang, i didn't realize how much i wanted to do. I have way too many lives i want to live...

The Tears of Blood part 3

Ashley woke in a room full of white. She narrowed her eyes to a squint as she rose to a sitting position. It was a large room with white walls and a giant window covering the wall opposite to her bed.  The bed was king size with white sheets and a beautiful white comforter with white flower designs stitched into it.

“You’ve been sleeping for quite some time.” A deep voice said from her right.

Ashley grabbed her covers and pulled them around her as she turned to face the man. He was tall and had black slacks on and a white button down shirt. His sleeves were rolled up and showed off his huge muscles. His face looked as though it was carefully sculptured by the greatest artist. His dark brown eyes gazed down at her patiently.

“Wh-who are you?” Ashley asked uneasily.

His lifted his hand and brushed his black hair from his sad eyes, “I am Aftiel. You’ve been gone for a long time. You’ve made a lot of us worry.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’ve been missing for almost nine years. Not any of us could find you until the Tribulation began. Then I was sent to fetch you. Tell me one thing though,” he said while taking a few steps closer to her bed, making her scoot backwards, “Why were you crying?”

Suddenly, as if the dam holding all her memories fell back all at once, the memories came back to her: the waterfall, the orphanage, her parents, blowing out the candles on her birthday, opening presents on Christmas, going to church every Sunday, her friend’s smiles, and her mother’s open arms as the building fell, crushing her body. Ashley wrapped her hands around her head, her mouth opening in a scream. The windows shattered and the curtains tore. Aftiel was suddenly next to her on the bed, pulling her into his arms.

Then all the pain melted away. He stroked her hair and hummed a lullaby as if he were trying to get a small child to fall asleep. Ashley looked down and saw that her white dress was spotted with red dots. A few more fell from her chin. Hastily she wiped at her face in horror.

“I’m bleeding, why I am bleeding?” she asked as she looked at her bloodstained hands.

“That’s what happens when we cry,” Aftiel said with sadness filling his voice. “We shed tears filled with blood.”

The Tears of Blood part 2

Now seventeen, she stared up at the tall glass buildings. Beautiful white clouds and the blue sky reflected against them.

Her eyes took in the beauty of the buildings, the architecture, and the different people.

"If you want, you can look around for a few hours," Kim said walking towards their hotel. "We're going to get checked in. Keep your cell phone on. We'll call you and we'll all meet up for dinner! There is a place in the mall with GREAT French onion soup! Have fun, but don't get lost, okay?"

Ashley smiled and gave her mom a hug before taking off towards the blinking lights of time square.

People crowded the sidewalks, horns honked, steam came from the vents below, and delicious smells came from food stands. It was a whole new world for Ashley, seeing she only lived in a small town with only one grocery store and only 4,000 occupants.

She walked and walked, taking in the buildings and stores until it became dark. The sky was painted red, yellow and orange as the sun set. She began to walk back to the hotel, when all of a sudden, her cell began to ring. Before she could answer, her new world began to turn to ruin.

Explosions set the city to fire. Screams and sirens filled the air. Bodies littered the ground. Ashley stood shocked. It was happening before her too fast for it all to make sense. An explosion made her fall to the ground. Rubble rained down onto her, making her cry out in pain as it fell onto her back and head. She stood, but just fell right back down again. People ran past her, stepping on her hands and feet, kicking her. Bodies flew into the air as explosion after explosion went off.

Somewhere far off, she heard buildings collapsing while black smoke filled the air around her.

Somehow she had the strength to push herself up off the ground. She stumbled through the crowds, slowly making her way back to her hotel. Nonstop explosions kept going off, bits of rubble and severed bodies rained down all around her.

" Ashley!" She looked to her left, where the voice came from. She turned and saw there, standing in an open Starbucks door, was her parents.

Smiling, happy her parents were safe, she began running towards them. Kim held her arms out to her, joyful tears falling from her mother's face. Suddenly a bright light appeared, and a loud roaring sound made Ashley cover her ears.

She flew backwards and landed with a thud on her side. The air left her lungs and she coughed.

Her ears rung and she slowly sat up, her muscles screaming in pain. She looked over in horror at the building her parents were in. It was now in a crumpled heap.

Ashley stood hastily and limped over, "Mom? Dad?" She began to scream as she started looking into the pile of rubble.

Without a single reply, she became frantic and began digging into the fallen building. She was digging so much that her fingernails began to break on the rocks and other debris in the pile of the old Starbucks building.

"MOMMY! DADDY!!! Where are you?!?  Don't leave me!"

Tears the color of blood streamed down her face as she cried for the first time. Blackness overcame her and she felt as if she was becoming as light as a feather, almost as though she was flying.

The Tears of Blood Part 1

"Ashley, sweetheart, are you packed," Mike asked from the bottom of the stairs.

Ashley walked into view, clearly struggling with her big blue bag. She was tall - about 5'9. She had curves in all the right places and her blonde, wavy hair reached down to her lower back. Her sky-blue eyes looked down towards her adoptive father.

"I'll get that. You go get in the car," Mike said as he climbed the stairs.

"Thank you," she said, descending gracefully.

Taking advantage of the first week of summer, the family decided to go on a vacation to New York City.

Kim, Ashley’s mother, was already sitting in the passenger seat of the hummer H3 when she climbed in.

Kim turned around in her seat and smiled brightly. NYC was her favorite place and she was excited that she was finally going to be able to share it with her daughter.

"Are you excited? I can't wait to show you the gigantic toy shop and the Empire State Building! Oh, and the Rock is just beautiful! We can take a bike ride around central park and stop at the boat house for Shirley Temples, I know you like those."

Ashley smiled back at her, sharing her excitement. "It sounds like a lot of fun."

Once Mike loaded the suitcases in the hummer, he took his position in the driver's seat.  With smiles on their faces, they were off.

After taking a two hour flight to the city, they caught a cab that took them towards the large buildings. They were going to stay at the London for an entire week.

The cab driver weaved between cars, beeping his horn and swearing. Wide-eyed, the family held on for dear life.

Ashley knocked on the clear window separating the front and back seats, "Sir..? Sir?"

Finally she caught his attention, "What?!" Ashley flinched at the harsh tone the driver was using, and she calmly sat back in her seat.

"May you please drive carefully? You're scaring my family and putting them in danger," She said softly.

"Who do you think you are? Judging my  driving. You ca-" He looked in the rear view mirror and noticed the young girl who had been talking to him. Like magic, he immediately shut up and began to drive safely.

Mike and Kim relaxed and gave her a thankful smile.

When Ashley spoke, people somehow became kind and happy. Her looks could make people stop and stare with awe. Her voice was so beautiful that the world would become silent - even the birds stopped singing just to listen. People said she was blessed. That she was sent from heaven.

Many years ago, she was found in the mountains by a waterfall, completely nude and without any memory except one name, Derdekea.  They couldn't find any records on her or any missing person cases that described her.

They believed she was around eight and put her in an orphanage. Two days later, she was adopted.

War

Shots rang through the air. Bombs came down all around us like deadly rain. The enemy seemed like they were everywhere, but I fought hard side by side with my comrades.   I heard a whistle of a bullet go close by my head. Then, almost simultaneously, I heard another, only this time it hit me.

Suddenly, I fell to the ground. Blood was all around me. The snow was no longer white as it had been before the attack. Everything seemed like it was covered in red. Dark red, it was the color of death.

I was cold and numb. I heard the piercing screams in my ears of my dying friends and family. I heard the bombs and guns killing. There was no way anyone will get out of this alive. We were surrounded.  Seconds seemed like lifetimes as I laid twisted in pain and humiliation. As I waited for it all to be over.

In just minutes bodies littered the ground. Bleeding or dead, I wasn't sure. I'll I knew now was that I was with them. I tried to stand, to help, but I fell again onto a body. I looked at the face.

It was the face of my twin sister. The battle killed her only moments before. Her now short blond hair was covered with dirt and blood, the ends were burned. Her clothes torn, her face bruised, her body battered and broken. A small sob came from my mouth. I remembered all our memories growing up, our good and our bad. All I could remember of her was how she was always full of life, never sitting down or laying still. Now, looking at her lifeless body I began to feel sick with grief.

I layed there weeping and cursed humanity. I felt like my heart would burst. Silently, I began to pray. I prayed for all of the people fighting. I prayed for all the families, for my family. I then thanked God for letting me fight in this war, for letting me take part in helping people.

I knew then that I was going to die in this cold harsh war. I buried my head into my sister. Then I accepted it. There was no escape. Even if I tried to, I knew it was fate. It was my time to go.

So, I gave into the cold, and darkness overcame me. It swallowed me whole for a second, but then a bright light appeared. I felt instantly better. I looked through the light and saw a familiar figure. I walked forward as I heard a voice whisper my name.

There was my sister holding her hand out to me. All her wounds were gone. She looked like she was bathed in brilliant light. Her blond hair fell in graceful waves to her lower back. Her eyes were bright and full of joy.   She smiled at me as I took her warm soft hand. There was no pain or suffering here. There was only joy and love.

Together we walked closer to the light, closer to our happiness in eternity.

LAst Week Ch. 2 Part 3

 Everyone stops and stares at the sound of my voice. I rush forward and I slap Jeremy across his face, making an echo through the whole school yard. A small angry red hand print is left on his face, “Don’t you dare touch him again.”

          I grab Robert’s hand and take him away into the school. Everyone just stares as we rush past them. I pull him into the gym doors and into the darkness. Once safely inside I let go of him and stare at my hand. It tingles from the slap. I squint through the darkness at Robert, “Are- Are you okay?”

          He doesn’t say anything at first, but then I can clearly see his bright smile, “Ha! You do talk!  I knew it!” He pumps his fist up into the air, “And you slapped the heck out of him! That was so cool!”

          I return a little smile about to reply, but the bell rings. His eyes grow wide, “We’re gonna be late!” We run through the halls and breathlessly make it into the room when the tardy bell rings. We rush into our seats and laugh. Everyone glares at us, well, at me.

          The teacher walks in and points at me, “You. Come with me.”

          The class snickers as my cheeks flush. I stand and swiftly walk towards the teacher. He frowns down at me, “Did you slap that boy?” he points at Jeremy. He really shouldn’t point… it’s rude. I pause for a second before nodding my head. He sighs, “Follow me.”

          We walk down the empty hallways and towards the principle office. They sit me down in a seat and call my mommy. Then we wait. She doesn’t arrive until twelve, during her lunch break. Her face is twisted into an angry expression. She apologizes to the principle and takes me home.

          She doesn’t even speak to me. She takes me to my room and leaves to go back to work. Martha enters a few moments later with the paddle. I’m still sore from the day before, but I guess that doesn’t matter to them. She spanks me and then tells me I won’t be having anything to eat for embarrassing my parent’s name.

          I don’t eat either. Not till the next day and it’s not my usual meal. It’s nearly nothing. I look down at the small portion of food, but I don’t complain. I never complain. I don’t care about the food or the fact that my mother doesn’t talk to me anymore. All I care about is Robert. 

Last Week Ch. 2 part 2

Things have to get better now? Don’t they?

          They don’t. One the bus Jeremy realizes I don’t care about his bullying any longer, that I no longer feel as much pain as I did before. He grits his teeth, “You better be careful. Someone you love might get hurt.”

          Someone I love? Is he planning on hurting Robert? I stare at him and he knows he hits a nerve.

I dread the next day. The bus rises high above me, growing larger the more I stare at it.

          “You getting on or not?” the driver says glaring at me.

          I nod and climb on. I suffer a full twenty-five minutes until I get to school. It’s the same ruthless torture I’d experienced the day before. Except this time it’s worse, “So, what’s that kid’s name? Robert?”

          I stare at Jeremy willing him not to go further, willing him not to speak his name out of his mouth again. I must make some expression because he smiles a satisfied smile, “I think I’ll have another talk with him. Maybe rough him up a bit.”

          He jumps across me, wiping his dirty sneakers on my white stockings. I jump up after him. He sprints across the yard towards Robert. Then his fist lashes out. It hits Robert square in the face.

          “No!” I scream.

Last Week Ch. 2 Part 1

Chapter Two

          Days pass and Robert still constantly talks to me. It’s nice waking up every morning knowing that there is someone out there willing to be your friend. “Sky! Sky!” I look up and see Robert running down the hallway towards me and I brace myself. He slams into me and gives me a big hug. I stare at him in surprise.

          “Guess what! They put me on the football team! Isn’t that awesome!” he smiles and twirls me around, “You have to come and watch every game okay?”

          I nod in agreement, a smile growing on my face as well. He jumps up and down and releases me.

          He grins, “Now, if we win the first game, you have to say something. Anything okay? I’ll get you to talk. I will!” He takes me by the hand and pulls me through the halls talking of how excited he is and how he’ll win for sure, “Even though the first game is a while away, that just means I’ll have enough time to make sure I’m ready. I’ll win I promise you that.”

          Once I get home that day I go straight to my room like always. I smile and dismiss the fact that Jeremy only hurt me moments before. I only think of Jeremy, my first friend. He means so much to me. I smile and clutch a pillow to my chest. My own personal angel…

          Martha walks in at the moment. She looks at me weirdly, “Why are you smiling girl? Have you done something bad?” she looks around the room investigating it.

          I shake my head no. She gives me one long look and says, “If I ever catch you doing something you aren’t supposed to I’ll report it to your mother immediately.” She takes one last look around the room then walks out.

Last Week Ch. 1 Part 4

Pain shoots through my hand and tears threaten my eyes. I will not cry in front of them. I will not. His foot lifts off of my hand, “Oops, sorry about that.”

I lift my glasses towards my face. Putting them on I realize there’s a crack going across one lens. Oh, no mommy will kill me. Oh, no. I look down at my pinky finger and see that it’s bent awkwardly. Is that broken? It hurts a lot.

“Is she going to cry?”

“Oh my god! She’s going to cry!”

“No way! She’s such a baby!”

“Baby!!”

I stare through my broken glasses at my finger. I put my other hand over it, so I won’t look at it. I close my eyes tightly. I can make it through this…

          “Ew her finger is turning a weird color.”

          Jeremy jerks my hand towards him, making me wince in pain. He studies it and laughs, “You broke it.” He bends it around and I try my hardest not to scream. He laughs at the expressions that cross my face, “Why don’t you scream, freak? You really are a freak! Does this not hurt you?” He jerks the finger to the side making me bite my lip painfully.

          The bus jerks to a stop in front of my neighborhood. I jump up quickly and run from the bus. The bus driver glares at me, “No, running!”  I run through the yards, running to my house. The tears finally spill over. Why are they so mean?

There’re no cars in the driveway. Daddy is off on another business trip and Mommy doesn’t get home till really late. I grab my house key from under the rug of our giant white house. I unlock the heavy door and push it open. I replace the key and walking into the dark house. I pass by big elegant rooms, climb the long white staircase, and open my bedroom door. My bedroom is plain, nothing too special.

          Martha stands just inside my room, making the bed. She takes one look at me and sighs, “How can you make your outfit so dirty…” she shakes her head and spies my hand.

          “Did you fall again?”

          I nod my reply. She walks forward and roughly inspects my hand, “It’s broken.” She takes the pinky and jerks it. Pain shoots through my hand once more and I hear a terrible pop.

          “It should be fine now.” Her Spanish accent laces her words. She finishes the bed and places my pajamas on it, “Now, I’ll be back with dinner later. Behave and stay in your room.”

          She leaves slamming the door behind her. Mommy and Daddy don’t like me leaving my room, only if they have friends over and they want to show me off, but they don’t like doing that much. They expect me to stay silent in my room, not making a peep, and I do what they want. I know the consequences of not behaving.

          I know I’ll experience another spanking tonight, mommy said so. I change my clothes and starting reading ahead in my text books. Hours later I hear the front door slam shut. I try my hardest to ignore it. I hear high heels climb the stairs, awfully slowly. Then my door creaks open. I turn around and see the long wooden paddle in my mother’s hands.

She hands it to Martha who stands just behind her, not wanting to dish out the punishment in fear of breaking her flawless nails. She likes to stand and watch though. I close my eyes and wait for the pain.

Last Week Ch. 1 Part 3

He stops at a door and looks at the number, “This is it!” He pulls me through the door and what I see stabs me in the stomach. There sits Jeremy and his little gang of kids. He snickers at me, but the smile falls off his face once he sees who is holding my hand.

He walks forward with his arms crossed, “Who are you, dude? You new?”

“Yeah, I’m Robert.” He lets go of my hand and reaches it forward towards him.

Jeremy dismisses it and says, “Since you’re new I’ll give you a little bit of advice. That girl, you don’t want to hang around her. She’s a freak.” Jeremy looks at me with disgust as he says this, “You might want to stay as far away from her. Or-“

“Or what?” Robert says looking at Jeremy weirdly. He withdraws his hand, “She’s my friend. I can hang around anyone I choose to.” He turns away from Jeremy and towards me. He smiles and says, “So, where do yah wanna sit at?”

I shrug not really caring. He grabs my hand again and tugs me to the far side of the room, away from the gaping Jeremy. We sit down and I stare at this Robert boy in wonder. Did he really just stand up to Jeremy and call me his friend? I don’t understand…

He continues smiling and he still talks to me about the beach, even when the teacher is talking. He whispers to me in every class talking of surfing on the waves, making sang castles, the sea gulls, collecting shells. He paints me a beautiful picture with his words and I can’t help but long for this place.

Jeremy or any kids don’t even come close to me while Robert is around. They just stare with hate and anger surrounding them. Throughout the day I start feeling like Robert is an angel sent down to protect me from the monsters, but the day ends too soon.

Robert waves at me as he gets on his bus, “I’ll get you to talk for sure tomorrow!” Then just like that my guardian angel disappears and I’m left unprotected. I stare at the giant yellow bus in front of me. The kids pile on, looking back at me and laughing. I’m suddenly very aware of them all. I climb on the bus last and sure enough only one seat is open.

Jeremy laughs, “Where’s your friend?”

I sit down beside him, not answering. All the kids turn around in their seats, watching, listening. Their eyes shine with lust to see me unhappy.

Jeremy grows angry, “Why don’t you ever talk, huh? Are you dumb? Are you an idiot? Really I thought glasses are for smart people.”

He takes the glasses from my face and throws them on the ground, “You won’t need those anymore they’re only for smart people.”

The bus erupts in laughter, but I don’t know what’s so funny about this. Why is watching someone else suffer so funny? Why can’t they all be nice like Robert? Why are they all so mean to me? I reach down trying to find my glasses. Finally my hand finds them. Jeremy’s foot crashes down on my hand, and I hear a crunch.

LAst Week Ch. 1 Part 2

I’ve always been picked on for the silliest things: my long blond hair, my glasses, being too small, having freckles around my nose. I’ve never understand why these things make me something to play with. I’ve never understand why those kids hurt me the way they do. I reach my locker that I learned how to open at open house last week.

I stuff my book bag in and grab my stuff for the classes. This is the first year with different classrooms, different teachers, different everything. I look down at the schedule that shakes in my hands. I can do this. I can.

I close my eyes taking a deep breath. Then I walk forward. I take one step and I hit something hard. My eyes shoot open as I fall backwards on my butt. A boy stands up above me, his apologetic green eyes staring into mine.

I’ve never seen him before... He stretches his hand forward, grabbing mine, and he pulls me up. He scratches the back of his head, ruffling his black hair, “Sorry about that. I wasn’t watching where I was going.”

When I don’t respond he studies me. A kind smile spreads on his face and he puts out his hand, “I’m Robert.”

I just stand there eyeing that hand, waiting for it to do something terrible. He sighs, “You do this.”

He grabs my hand and places it in his and shakes. Is this boy trying to be nice to me? Why doesn’t he pick on me? Or is he?

“Now you’re supposed to say your name.”

I open my mouth, but no words come out. After a long second he just shrugs, “It’s okay if you don’t wanna talk. I’ll just call you… Sky. Just until you tell me your name, okay?”

I nod and he smiles brightly at me. He grabs my schedule from my hands, “Oh, look! We have mostly the same classes! Isn’t that cool!?” His eyes brighten and he grabs my hand pulling me along with him, “Now I can bug you all day until you talk.”

I stumble as he drags me through the halls. People whisper and stare, but he doesn’t seem to notice.

“So, I’m new here. We just moved here from North Carolina. I kinda miss the trees and stuff, but I guess it’s cool here too… all the buildings and stuff. My moms’ afraid I’ll get lost one day. Anyways, have you lived here your whole life.” He looks back at me. I nod my head.

“Well, have you ever been to the beach?”

I shake my head no. He gasps dramatically, “You’ve got to be kidding me! Like never ever? Come on you can’t be serious!”

I just stare at him. We’re still walking down the hallways. It’s becoming more crowded by the second as more kids are dropped off by the buses. Everyone stares. He shakes his head, “I’ll have to take you there one day. It’s amazing.”

He stops at a door and looks at the number, “This is it!” He pulls me through the door and what I see stabs me in the stomach. There sits Jeremy and his little gang of kids. He snickers at me, but the smile falls off his face once he sees who is holding my hand.

Last Week Ch 1. Part 1

“Mommy, I don’t want to go to school.” I say standing at the end of our neighborhood waiting for the bus. My hand grips hers and my eyes start to tear up. I look around at the other students hanging around in little groups with their friends.

“You have to sweetie.” She says letting go of my hand, “You have to be a big girl now. You’re a middle schooler. It’s time to grow up.”

I see the bus turn down the road and fear wracks my body. She doesn’t understand. She doesn’t understand how mean those kids are to me.  As the bus stops in front of me and the doors swing open; I try one last time to escape the hell I’m about to reenter.

“Mommy, please, I’ll do anything. Don’t make me go. Please, mommy.” I grab her hand once more.

She smiles an uneasy smile once the tears start rolling down my face. She looks around at the other moms how they stare, wondering why she can’t control her child.  She bends down in her high heels and pencil skirt, putting a hand on my shoulder. She squeezes it tightly and whispers “Get on the bus now. When you get home, young lady, you’ll be punished for your nonsense. You’ve embarrassed me.”

She stands and wipes her hands like I’ve had some terrible disease and nods at me. I turn swiftly on my heel and climb the stairs of the bus. I look around at the sneering kids, all larger than me; they’re the same ones from elementary school. I lower my head and walk to the back of the bus. Multiple feet trip me; the kids giggle as I stumble each time.

There’s only one seat open and it’s next to Jeremy. His too familiar evil grin stretches across his face. Once I sit down next to him, he turns and faces me, “You’ve grown uglier over the summer!” He laughs and all the kids around him laugh with him. Getting a little high off of the attention, he pulls my hair painfully, jerking my head back. He grabs scissors from his book bag.

“Your hair is too long and ugly. Maybe you should cut it.”

My eyes grow wide and I try my hardest to squiggle away from him, but he only holds on tighter.

“What’s going on back there!” the obese driver says glaring at us in the mirror. His black beady eyes stare into mine.

Jeremy pushes my into the dirt covered floor as the bus comes to a stop at the school, “She’s picking on us.”

The kids laugh as they all walk over me, stepping onto my skirt and hands, kicking me. Then I’m all alone on the bus, except for the driver. His eyes bore into mine, “I don’t want any trouble makers, you hear. I won’t tolerate it. This is your one and only warning.”

I nod, grabbing my book bag, and I stumble off the bus.  My long hair has untwisted from its braid and the red ribbon that once held it back is now in Jeremy’s hands, taunting me. I walk slowly towards the school, whispers surround me.

Ever since I can remember I’ve been these kids punching bag. I never fight back. I never even say a word to them. The only person I’ve ever talked to was my mother. Even she, though, doesn’t seem enjoy the sound of my voice.

The Sun Setting on the Ocean

The Sun Setting on the Ocean:

There is a time when the sun sets onto the ocean. A person can only see it once in their whole lives, but they have to be looking for it. It's like every other time, but a few things are different. On this special sunset, the stars descend onto the waters and dance around the sea. All the colors of the universe mold together and blend and share their colors with the clouds and the water.

The salty water moves into the air making small figures who dance and sing. The waters swirl around the stars and around the Milky Way; it dances with the birds and fishes of the deep, which come up from the depths to breathe. Then as the last light of sunlight begins to leave the sky, just for an instant, as that one drop blinds you, you can have a glimpse of eternity and all its happiness.

Then as you lose sight of the light, darkness covers and consumes you. You cannot see through the haze, it’s so dark you can't even see the light of the stars. You feel cold and so lost; until you remember the light and long for it. You never see it again though, not for your whole life, until the end. At the end you see the light again on the horizon. You see the sun beginning to make itself visible after the longest night. You know what it's capable of. You know its beauty and power.

You couldn’t see it, because it was hidden inside you, it was a part of you. So, as the stars descend again, for the final time in those eyes, you join them in their dance. You bask in its light. You fly with the water and you never see the night.

Don't look back

From a book I'm writing with a friend.

Background: A time-traveling teen has found a new home in a garage of a lumberjack. She has no control on when she time travels or where she goes. At night she has nightmares - or are they reality?

I close my eyes. I won’t think about that now. I’ll think about that tomorrow…

“DIANE! DIANE RUN! DON’T LOOK BACK! DON’T EVER LOOK BACK!”  

I’m in the rainforest. The rain hits me, soaking my body. The leaves slap against me. The branches scrape against my skin. I hear the screams of my friends and my family. I hear them  fighting for their lives and fighting to give me more time.

I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t save them like i thought i could. I’m a failure, a coward. My tears become one with the rain as it cleans the blood from my body and face.

The screams stop. My heart pounds. It’s coming for me. I laugh at myself. I actually feel sad that the screams stopped. I was grateful for them because it meant that it was still there killing them and not coming after me.

But now - it’s searching for me.

“Run.” she said, “Run and never look back.”

RUN.

I sit up in my bed as the alarm blares into my ears. Sweat soaks by body, or is it the rain.

I jump from my bed throwing the clothes from my body. I hold my mouth as it tries to release a scream. She said never look back, but isn’t that what i keep doing. I keep looking back. I keep diving deeper into the past.

I stare at the clothes i threw at the wall. Is that blood i see?

I back against the wall and slide down to the floor. I hold my head in my head. Don’t think about it. Don’t look back. Don’t go back.

The Mr. Part 1

I knew the brakes weren't good to begin with. Just going down the smaller hill of my grandparents house i was at top speeds with the brakes pulled all the way in. We're only going to Ben's house and back though, just about an half mile down the bumpy rock road. No one is on this road at this time in the morning anyways. There's no point in wasting time and turning around.
I tell my brother to go in front of me, that I'll follow after him in five minutes. I wait until i see him disappear around the corner at the bottom of the large hill before i begin to go. I barley press my gas to go forward down the almost completely vertical hill. I begins to go faster and faster. Soon I'm at the bottom and the curve is right before me.
My 4-wheeler goes on two wheels as i make the turn. Then i see it. There before me is a car, a very nice nice and shiny one at that. I swerve and go off the road.
Blackness.
No, more like full on white.
I wake up in a room of white. Large windows, that go from the floor to the ceiling, are the walls of the room. Each window has large white curtains that the light shines through. The curtains moves by the wind coming through the open windows, carrying white blossoms from a tree outside.
I sit up slowly, looking at the unfamiliar surroundings. I'm in a very large bed with white sheets and a giant white fluffy blanket. What is this? Am I in heaven?
"Oh, you've come to!" A older woman walks in wearing all white. She has graying hair that seems to have been black in her younger years. Her brown eyes have wrinkles surrounding them. She smiles and walks over to me, checking the IV in my arm.
"What happened?" i ask.
"You and the Mr.  almost hit each other and you avoided the collision by going down the side of the mountain. It's amazing you barley have a scratch on you. All you have is a minor concussion. You're vehicle, however, is much worse than you."

The Girl Who Cared When Others Thought She Didn't

 I haven't really done anything really worthwhile in a while really. I'm never motivated to do anything. I care and i want to... But I'm just not motivated. I goggled it to figure out why I'm such a failure at life. Am i just lazy and stupid like some people think?
Is it because of my ADD? Maybe my dyslexia? Bipolar?

No one knows I'm failing high school besides my parents and my teachers. I can't tell my friends because I know with their straight A's and high expectations that they'll judge me even if they say they won't.

I remember as a child looking at life with an open mind. I remember my thoughts. I thought i would be pretty by age 16. I thought I'd easily pass through high school and get into college. I remember thinking i would have a boyfriend and be skinny. I thought I'd have a perfect life straight from the T.V shows and movies that showed me.

WRONG. WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG.

My life is far from the dreams i had as a child. Every time i look in the mirror I see a plain-Jane. My black flat hair would wrap itself around my chunky face. My brown eyes would look at my body up and down with disgust. I didn't grow up tall and blond. I didn't grow up into a size 0. No, I'm a size 14.

I'm seventeen years old and i still haven't had that magical first kiss i dreamed about. I haven't even had a guy take interest in me.

I have a 1.88 GPA and straight F's in a school full of straight A students. I probably won't even make it into college without the word "community" in front of it.

My life is in a downward spiral of no return.

I can't talk to my parents about it. Every time i bring up the subject of boys my mother would say, "Lose weight and exercise." I would try it, but it's the same with my school work. I'd see an improvement, but then i would miss one day of workouts or eat one fattening thing and my whole system would crash down. I'd look at myself in the mirror and cry. Who would want to date someone looking like me? A 5'8, 189 pound girl. I'd take a shower and fall down scratching the skin on my back, wanting to get the gross thing off of me. I'd cry silently so no one would hear me and ask questions. I'd throw up my last meal, but then give up on that too because it's too much work.

Every time i bring up grades one of them would say, "You go to summer school every year. It's your junior year now it's too late. We payed for you to go to private school and all you did was fail every class. You're not going to make it into college." They would go on and on calling me a failure, never giving me peace.

No, i can't talk to them about it. They would only bring me down more.

I turned to drugs once, but that didn't help either. That stop soon after it started.

So here i am. I'm a girl that's failing not only at school, but at losing weight, getting a boyfriend, getting into college, talking out her feelings, making a change, and actually living.

That's the sad reality of my life.

My name is Sarah Hilly. Everyone else sees me as just another girl in the halls, but after tonight they'll see me as the girl who overdosed on pills. After a week everyone will just not remember.